Tuesday, December 14, 2010


it's exactly 34days since the last day that i've seen him. :( 

no TALKS. no CALLS. no TEXTS. and no EFFORTS at all.

miss na kita. pero hinde ko alam kun gustu kita makita..
since we started to be a couple. we've been through the worst nightmare a relationship can have. name it and we have it. and i know, at some point. i really gave up. it's because we have a big responsibility not just for our relationship but for our 2 little kids. it's not easy to balance our time. my time. i go to school six times a week. we barely had a time to CHILL and UNWIND together. I don't know if that's my fault. and i really don't get he's point of leaving me hanging. 

Every time i came home from manila. I wanted to be with him so badly. and even he's beside me, I miss him pa rin. 2days is not enough for all my kwentos and chikas that i wanted to share with him. but it is so sad. because every time that i'm home. HE IS NOT THERE. He will be going out with his friends. playing billiards. 

I always tell him or make paawa to stay with me even for just a day. but sadly and seriously, he never granted my wish. :l *teary-eyed*

but this time. i had to make a big decision. not just for my kiddos but for myself. all this time. i always think what other people will say, if i do this or that. but damn. 

I'm BADLY HURT. and no one knows. how much i am hurt. (kaya puhleassee tama na mga EPAL)

I can't say na i'm the super AGRABYADO here but we have kids. and they need him. EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY. but if he can't do his part. 

I'm so sorry. 

YOU JUST MISS HALF of your LIFE not seeing them grow and not feeling the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that they always gave me. 

ok. i'll stop na. i just want to release the BAD VIBES in my body. 

I hope everything will be ok. I'm always praying :)

a short prayer for my dear BRO:

dear LORD,

     Thank you for all the blessings that you have given me all throughout my struggling moments. I just want you to know that the SUPER POWER STRENGTH that you always gave me made me a STRONGER and BRAVER person. I promise to be a better person ASAP and not to be BITTER with anybody (i hope). i love you superb.

from your big baby,

oopss. i forgot to say this:

to my FAMILY.

thank you for all the UNLIMITED LOVE and SUPPORT that you always gave to me. hinde pa ako humihinge nun, binibigay nyo na. I can never ask for more because all the things that i needed in my life was given to me. i love you so much. :)

wala ako makita na picture na kame lang. so ito na lang. reunion 2009 :)

and to my SECOND FAMILY. i really love you. i have never been fake to you. it may seem i am bitter. but im not. my emotions this past few days are so unstable. and you know why. i do hope you understand :)

first christmas na complete. with mama and papa. si shopie. nasa tyan ko pa nyan. palabas pa lan :)