first photoshoot of my dearest SHOPIE :)

Warning: This post is picture heavy.HAHA :)

I can't help not to post her pictures. She is so adorable. 

What duh? I'm a super proud mom :) 

I hope you enjoy looking in her pictures as much as i do :)

it's my birthday but my blog is for you :)

It's been a month since we started to have that "WE" thing again and i know that not everybody knows what's the real score between us. That's why i have decided to make this blog to make it up to you :)


You are one of the best gifts i have ever received in my entire life :)


I know we really don't have the perfect relationship a man and a woman dreams of but we are unique in different ways. That's why i don't have the guts to throw all the things,thoughts and memories that we've shared. I've been celebrating my birthday with you for 6 years now and on my special day, you always surprise me. Even though there's no gift, flowers or anything. Just a simple plain conversation before my day starts completes me and added to it, there's a two beautiful angels joining us. 


Sometimes, I maybe so demanding (yah.i admit it) but I hope you understand that all i want is your whole attention because most of the time I'm too far away from you. 


I love you from the very start you stare at me. It was June of 2005. Your the first person, I've been very comfortable to stay with 24/7. There were good and bad vibes back then but I know in my heart that we will be together for the rest of our lives :)


happy birthday to me and i love you very MUNCHIE :)

i love you kuya boogie :)

A day that i will always remember.

I really thank god for giving me a sweet and thoughtful JAYMARC in my life. 

Our bonding today was really unexpected. Thanks to mommy. He brought bogs to me. Maybe she knows how homesick i am. ( i love you for that mom :) )

First,we went to manila doctors because i have an appointment to my doctor due to my migraine and then we went home to change clothes. I need to change much comfortable clothes when I'm with bogs because he is so fond of running and roaming around the mall. and after that, we went straight to sm to buy him a new shoes. The last time that i was doing some shopping time for myself, i bought bogs a pair of sanuk but too bad he didn't like the design and the fitting. (HUHU :l) 

After the tiring shoes hunting. We ate at Jollibee because he was craving for the 39ers meal which i forgot the name. sorry. 

When i'm with my bogs, there was no dull moments even though he is so HYPER and so full of energy. I am really not minding it because i was really enjoying and making the most out of our time together.

i really don't want to end this day but hello REALITY again. In a few hours time, i will bring him in his school in cavite and me, will be back in my humble home and school in manila :( 

If only i can make CAVITE and MANILA a 15 minutes drive so i can see him and shopie everyday.

but anyway. thankies BRO for making this 10th of February so memorable. i love you and kuya boogie so much :)

HYPER ANGER.

why do people are so INSENSITIVE? 

hinde ko alam kung baket may mga taong walang pakialam sa magiging outcome ng mga ginagawa nila. amp! 

i really tried to forget all the things that you did to me. pero SHIT sa dameng yon ang hirap pa lang kalimutan. pede ko palang gawing MOTTO yung i can always forgive but i can never really forget. aww :(

reality bites sucks. 

it was you who made me a FAKE STRONGER WOMAN. 

it was you who made me an EVIL THINKER. 

it was you who made my HEART so fuckin' wasted.

i hate you BIGTIME :|

birthday ng PRINSESA ko :)

first bday cake ni SHOPIE from ME :))

 

me. shopie and kuya boogie :))

happy birthday my dear baby :)

with rajhaboy :)

grabe. super bilis ng panahon. 1 year old na si SHOPIE ko. I'm so happy kase kahit papano i have time na ma.celebrate yun 1st bday nya. I can't explain the feeling. Hinde ku man fully masabi na ako yung nagpalaki sa kanya kase most of the time I'm away kase because of school pero I'm proud to say na hinde ako ngkulang sa LOVE na binibigay ku sakanya and sa kapatid nya. They are my LIFE.

gamit nya yun MOON WALK. a gift from mama :)

I have nothing to say. I just want to tell the WHOLE WIDE WORLD how BLESSED i am and how THANKFUL i am the GOD gave her to me. She is really a BLESSING :) 

I LOVE YOU MIKHAIRA ANGELI FIDES :)

best CHRISTMAS ever :)))

warning: this post is PICTURE HEAVY :)

our noche buena prepared by my MOM :)

 

 

kuya boogie's opening his gifts from me. yey!

shopie's first christmas :) galit sya. kase ginising ko. HAHA

who needs santa? when they got MOMMY. and that's me :)))

my life :)

i smile because of them :)

i was made by god because he wants me to experience the BIG LOVE  of my children :)

This Christmas is the best. and it will always be remembered in my heart and my mind.

I thank god for giving the best gifts. I don't know if i really deserve them but i promise that I will love them unconditionally and i will never leave them for the rest of their life even if they are already building their own family (so flashforward.HAHAHA)

a letter for my kiddos:

Dear kuya bogs,

Thank you for making mommy happy all the time especially when mommy is having a hard time. You make me feel good every time you say the MAGIC WORDS : "I LOVE YOU MOMMY FOREVER and EVER". Mommy will never forget how much you care about me and how much you will miss me when i am about to return in manila. Tandang tanda ku pa yon baby boy na sinabi mo saken na "Mommy,aalis ka na naman? iiwan mo na naman ako. malulungkot na naman ako. hayy! sana pagbalik mo ng manila kasama mo na ako ha". Kuya those words made my cry. If only mommy can bring you again in manila. *sigh* but don't worry kuya boogie. everything will change once i graduated. and that is so so SOON :) i love you kuya baby so much. You and baby are my strength :)

Dear baby SHOPIE,

Our princess. you'll be turning one in two weeks time. I can't imagine that my li'l baby is growing up so fast. I am so happy and fortunate that you came to my life. I know god has a purpose why he gave you to me after four years. Our first christmas together was full of joy and happiness because you and your kuya are with me. It was priceless. The both you are PRICELESS. Baby, thank you for coming into mommy's life. You've change me. Even though you can't say the words i love you and i miss you, I know in my heart that you do. The hug and the attention that you want me to give to you SPEAKS for it baby girl. I love you forever baby. :)

Nothing beats the time that i spent with my kiddos and indeed, CHRISTMAS 2010 is SUPERB HAPPINESS :))))

EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE :l

it's exactly 34days since the last day that i've seen him. :( 

no TALKS. no CALLS. no TEXTS. and no EFFORTS at all.

miss na kita. pero hinde ko alam kun gustu kita makita.

.

since we started to be a couple. we've been through the worst nightmare a relationship can have. name it and we have it. and i know, at some point. i really gave up. it's because we have a big responsibility not just for our relationship but for our 2 little kids. it's not easy to balance our time. my time. i go to school six times a week. we barely had a time to CHILL and UNWIND together. I don't know if that's my fault. and i really don't get he's point of leaving me hanging. 

Every time i came home from manila. I wanted to be with him so badly. and even he's beside me, I miss him pa rin. 2days is not enough for all my kwentos and chikas that i wanted to share with him. but it is so sad. because every time that i'm home. HE IS NOT THERE. He will be going out with his friends. playing billiards. 

I always tell him or make paawa to stay with me even for just a day. but sadly and seriously, he never granted my wish. :l *teary-eyed*

but this time. i had to make a big decision. not just for my kiddos but for myself. all this time. i always think what other people will say, if i do this or that. but damn. 

I'm BADLY HURT. and no one knows. how much i am hurt. (kaya puhleassee tama na mga EPAL)

I can't say na i'm the super AGRABYADO here but we have kids. and they need him. EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY. but if he can't do his part. 

I'm so sorry. 

YOU JUST MISS HALF of your LIFE not seeing them grow and not feeling the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that they always gave me. 

ok. i'll stop na. i just want to release the BAD VIBES in my body. 

I hope everything will be ok. I'm always praying :)

a short prayer for my dear BRO:

dear LORD,

     Thank you for all the blessings that you have given me all throughout my struggling moments. I just want you to know that the SUPER POWER STRENGTH that you always gave me made me a STRONGER and BRAVER person. I promise to be a better person ASAP and not to be BITTER with anybody (i hope). i love you superb.

from your big baby,

LHAIRA :)

oopss. i forgot to say this:

to my FAMILY.

thank you for all the UNLIMITED LOVE and SUPPORT that you always gave to me. hinde pa ako humihinge nun, binibigay nyo na. I can never ask for more because all the things that i needed in my life was given to me. i love you so much. :)

wala ako makita na picture na kame lang. so ito na lang. reunion 2009 :)

and to my SECOND FAMILY. i really love you. i have never been fake to you. it may seem i am bitter. but im not. my emotions this past few days are so unstable. and you know why. i do hope you understand :)

first christmas na complete. with mama and papa. si shopie. nasa tyan ko pa nyan. palabas pa lan :)